dear to whom it may concern,
i believe i have had a lot of things i been wanting to share but just not having the time or energy to do so. lately we have been in a place of waiting…just waiting. i am happy though, because even in this place, i am learning patience, acceptance and just letting things take the time they need. there is so much that can be for myself and my family in the near present future but nothing is sure, of course. will there be a move for us? will there be a chance to start things all over again? will we will be able to travel in the winter to see our friends in idaho whom we haven’t seen in two years? will we be able to add to our family in the next year or so? were are just here waiting for the answers to reveal themselves..
i’ve had thoughts of a home again a lot lately. i think that is one of the things i desire the most right now. i am appreciative of how we have been taking care of this past year but i know we are ready to move on. we are adults, we have a child, we are our own family and i want it to be and feel that way. not that i don’t feel it here, i am not saying that but there is a lack of complete satisfaction and personally for me, as a wife, mother and homemaker. i want to make my own home. that’s a homemaker, right?
everyday i take my daughter to preschool and i pass by the neighborhood houses. some of them look so quaint and warm, though i have no idea what they look like or how they really are inside. others look like with a little external help, they could achieve that homely feeling. nonetheless, it does leave me wanting that, a home of our own. i know we can’t own one now and they way things are here in this state i am not sure when we will ever be able to own. as long as i have my family and a roof over our heads, it will be home to us, whether we own or rent it. one day, however, i would love to own a home, a warm, inviting place with rooms for us and for our friends and family to enjoy spending time with us as well.
there is one house in particular, that if i take an alternate street to jane’s preschool, we can pass by. i love how it looks. it is not a huge, big house. it looks just the right size, with brick on the facade, and a big tree in the yard which seems to umbrella the whole of the front. what i like most about this house is that the tree is home to more than several birdhouses. it gives it such an individual and cared for look and i love looking at it as we pass by. the other day, i managed to steal a photo of it so that i could have it to look at and share.
the possibility of our own place might be presenting itself through the rental of r.’s cousin’s place in o——. i am hoping that everything will fall through so that we can take up that opportunity. i especially hope we are able to house train our beagle again because, he of course, is also part of the family. i have not liked the situation too much for him here because it separates him from us in a lot of ways, but again, there are always other things that have been good for him as well.
it has been nice overall, to house-watch, as i like to do. i am seeing fall having it’s influence in the outside decorations, especially that of fall’s most exciting holiday, halloween. i want to be a part of that but even if i can’t be, i can still always enjoy the watching…
waiting to see what becomes,
ava
